Salieri, Mo and Hurley.

We've been walking all day. Are we gonna get there soon?

"How long?"

"I don't know. I've been following him."

"What? What do you mean, you've been following him?"

"I'm not even in front."

"I have no idea where the cabin is. Hugo's the last one who saw it."

"Oh, this is just awesome."

"Oh, a wise guy, eh? nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."

This week's episode climbs into the Wayback Machine and opens with a sassy Emily Locke dancing around her room to the strains of Buddy Holly's Everyday. She's getting ready for a date with a man her Mother says is twice her age.

Like almost every other Mother on Lost, Emily's Mom is the domineering type. She has little control over her rebellious daughter though. Emily flounces out of the house as she hurls the age old teenage battle cry over her shoulder.

"You can't stop me! I love him!"

Like Michael, Edmond Burke, Martha Toomey, Mrs. Littleton, Kate (several times), Jack's wife and Shannon's Father, Hurley and even Anthony Cooper, Emily gets up close and personal with the non-backseat area of a car.

She comes around on a gurney in a hospital corridor, attended by several medical personnel. She manages to croak out that she's almost six months pregnant, which changes the scope of the emergency. Within minutes, in true Hollywood fashion, Emily delivers little John Locke three months early with almost no difficulty. The nurses whisk him into an incubator and out of Emily's sight.

Out in the jungle, Locke, Hurley and Ben are still looking for the cabin so Jacob can tell Locke what his next step should be. When Hurley and Locke both wonder how much farther Papa Smurf, Ben claims to have no clue. He's been following Hurley the whole time.

Did anyone else see the Three Stooges logo flash on their tv screen right then or was that just me?

When it's obvious that none of them have a good idea of their next move, Locke chooses to make camp, figuring a rest will do them good. Instead of a bedtime story, Hurley asks what Locke thinks might happen if and when the "freighter guys" come back to the island.

"I don't know...yet."

Well, John, I'm gonna guess that a naked luau is out of the question...

Speaking of the freighter guys, their chopper arrives back on the deck of the ship and unloads several mercenaries, one of whom is severely wounded.

Doctor Ray, alive and well, asks Keamy what happened to the injured man.

"A black pillar of smoke threw him 50 feet in the air... ripped his guts out."

"What?"

I give Ray the TVGasm award for most logical question ever asked on Lost.

Keamy sidesteps Ray's question and heads right over to Sayid. Using his height to make him as intimidating as possible, he demands that Sayid tell him exactly how many people are on the island and where they are.

"And why would I do that?"

I am so not going into the obvious symbolism of the America - Iraq situation here.

When he sees that he can't intimidate Sayid into talking, he turns his wrath on another target, the Captain.

"You gave me up.

"What?"

"Linus knew who I was. He knew my name. He knew everything about me."

"No, I'm not the one who gave you up."

"Then who did?"

Michael!

Captain Gault leads Keamy to a small cabin where he has Michael handcuffed to some pipes. Keamy deals a swift kick to the bunk which pins Michael's leg under it. He then demands to know if Michael was the one who gave Ben his name. When Michael confirms it, Keamy pulls his gun with every intent to execute the spy. For some reason the gun will not fire, which is a relief to Captain Gault since saboteur Michael is the only one who can fix the ship's engines.

Um...how many ships sail without skilled engineers? It's not even like Michael was their engineer in the first place. He was a deck hand. So why isn't there anyone else who can fix the damaged engines? Are they all dead, victims of the encroaching madness on the ship? It seems a pretty selective form of induced insanity, if that's the case. Further, why would the Captain trust Michael to fix him a ham sandwich, let alone the engines he sabotaged?

Out in the jungle, it's morning and Locke awakens before Hurley or Ben. He hears someone chopping wood and with one hand on his knife he goes to investigate.

It's Horace! He who once played host to a very young Ben and his father when they first arrived on the island.

I'm not even going to try to transcribe the conversation. Without the visual cues of the time loop like the tree not being cut down, it just makes no sense in print. Let's just say that Horace has been dead for 12 years and he's there in a speed-freak version of one of Desmond's time jumps, basically to tell John to find him so John can somehow find Jacob. Apparently Jacob has been waiting a really long time for John to show up. Considering the only way that John can find Jacob is to have someone enter his dreams and give him cryptic instructions on how to go about finding him, Jacob really shouldn't be surprised that it's taken so long. It's completely insane, but it works in context.

John wakes up to find Ben, a rifle on his lap, watching he and Hurley as they sleep. Ben seems oddly un-Ben-like. When John tells a confused Hugo that they've got to get going, the big man reminds him that they don't know where they're supposed to go.

"We do now."

Ben digests Locke's new found confidence with a slow nod.

"I used to have dreams."

It seems that the student has surpassed (or is it usurped?) the master.

In the hospital, a nurse welcomes Emily and her Mother into the room where John is in his incubator. Emily asks how he's doing.

"He's amazing. He's the youngest preemie to ever survive in this hospital. He's had infections, pneumonia, you name it. And every time, he knocked them out. He is a fighter, your Little John."

And your Will Scarlett and Friar Tuck are pretty tough too.

When the nurse tells Emily that the other nurses think of John as a miracle baby, Emily seems overcome with emotion and flees from the room before she is able to hold her baby for the first time.

Her Mother seems more irritated than concerned for her daughter and pulls out a cigarette as she casually asks the nurse who she should talk to about adoption.

As she admonishes Mrs. Locke not to smoke in the maternity ward (While this is an "Um...duh?" moment in 2008, in the pre-anti-tobacco-campaign Fifties it was likely less obvious to most people.) she notices a man standing on the other side of the maternity glass and asks if he's the Father.

Mrs. Locke has no idea who he is.

But we do! It's Richard Alpert. Or some amazing, ageless facsimile/clone/ancestor of his at least.

Out in the jungle, Hurley wants Locke to explain why Hurley is on this journey with he and Ben.

"You're here because you can see the cabin, and that makes you special."

"Well, I have a theory as to why we're the only ones who can see it."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I think we can see it 'cause we're the craziest."

If that's the case, is Ben the head looney?

Locke then explains that before they find the cabin, they need to make a pit stop. Instead of answering Hurley's "Where?", Locke asks a question.

"You ever wonder what happened to the Dharma Initiative, Hugo? There must have been at least a hundred of 'em living on this island, manning the stations, building those homes, making all that ranch dressing that you like. And then one day, they're all gone. They just disappeared. You want to know where we're going? We're going to see them."

They come upon the open grave of the Dharma Initiative, dessicated corpses piled like cord wood into it.

"Whoa. What happened to 'em?"

Locke gestures at their travelling companion. "He did."

Being Mozart might be cool, but it's probably a good idea to keep an eye on Salieri.

A very young John Locke is setting up a game of backgammon when his foster-sister, Melissa declares that the game is stupid and slaps the board across the table. Without a word, John begins setting up the board again as his foster-mother comes through the door holding yet another child. She is accompanied by none other than the ageless wonder himself (or a startlingly well rendered facsimile thereof), Richard Alpert.

(Colour coding sidenote: For the first time, we see a version of backgammon in red and white rather than black and white. As a symbol, the game has been interpreted (in its black and white iteration) as a comment on good and evil. Last week introduced another iconic game, RISK, which has multiple colours and multiple players, suggesting a symbol that is commenting on the complexity of a situation that isn't simply good vs. evil. Introducing a red and white version of backgammon could be a symbolic attempt to convey the same complexity in a different fashion. Or it could be that the Toy'R'Us in Oahu was out of black and white boards that week.)

Richard comments that John seems to have a good sense of the game. Since he has only seen the boy start the basic set up of the game, from this comment, we can conclude one of two things.

1) Richard knows that one day, John will grow up to be a backgammon master.
2) Richard is a moron.

He then tells young John that he runs a special school for extremely special children.

"Mind if I show you a couple of really neat things?"

Richard is lucky that this is the Fifties. Today we teach children to scream "Bad Touch!!!" when men wearing too much eyeliner offer to show them "a couple of really neat things."

Richard heads over to a different table to set up his neat things. On the way, he notes a drawing on the wall that looks suspiciously like a black pillar of smoke ripping someone's guts out. He asks John if the drawing is his and the look in his eyes when John nods isn't one of surprise.

He sits down across from John and starts laying out items on the table between them.

"I want you to look at these things, and think about 'em."

A baseball glove. A battered copy of "Book of Laws". A vial of whitish granules. A compass. A comic book. And finally, placing it on top of the Mystery Tales comic with the sensational "Hidden Land" story, a knife. None of the items appears even remotely new, except perhaps for the vial of granules.

"'Kay, now tell me John, which of these things belong to you?"

"To...to keep?"

"No, no, John. Which of these things belong to you already?

(If this rings a bell sidenote: An episode of King of the Hill featured a similar scene, based on a ritual that is used to seek and confirm the Dalai Lama. According to tradition, the Panchen Lama uses objects owned by and familiar to previous incarnations of the Dalai Lama, mixed with other similar items to test the veracity of the candidate thought to be the new incarnation. There is a novel listed on the wiki about the Panchen Lama called...wait for it...The Dharma King.)

John pulls objects to him, across the table, one at a time.

The vial. The compass. He takes a long look at the "Book of Laws".

(Alternate title sidenote: In "What Kate Did", Eko tells John the tale of Josiah and his temple:

"Hello. I have something I think you should see. If you don't mind, I will begin at the beginning. Long before Christ the king of Judah was a man named Josiah."

"Boy when you say beginning, you mean beginning."

"At that time the temple where the people worshipped was in ruin. And so the people worshipped idols, false gods. And so the kingdom was in disarray. Josiah, since he was a good king, sent his secretary to the treasury and said, 'We must rebuild the temple. Give all of the gold to the workers so that this will be done.' But when the secretary returned, he had no gold. And when Josiah asked why this was the secretary replied, 'We found a book.' Do you know this story?"

"No, I'm afraid I don't."

"What the secretary had found was an ancient book, the Book of Law. You may know it as the Old Testament. And it was with that ancient book, not with the gold, that Josiah rebuilt the temple. On the other side of the island we found a place much like this, and in this place {He means the Hatch, not Josiah's ruined temple} we found a book. I believe what's inside there will be of great value to you.

I can't be certain without a peek inside the book, but I suspect that this is an alternately titled copy of the Old Testament.)

Alpert is near to breathless in anticipation. After a moment, his attention shifts to the knife on top of the comic book. He reaches across and picks up the knife.

"Are you sure the knife belongs to you, John? You sure about that?"

John nods.

With a frustrated sigh, Richard snaps the knife from his hand.

"Well, it doesn't."

He gathers his things and makes a bee-line for the door. John's foster-mother is immediately suspicious of John, hearing the irritation in Alpert's tone as he abruptly informs her that John isn't ready for his school.

Thunder accompanies him as he storms out the door.

Back at the mass grave, Locke is rummaging through the dead bodies in search of something. He hasn't shared what he's looking for with his companions, so Hurley's not sure about the grim scene.

"What's he doing down there?" As if to distract himself from the awful reality of what Locke is doing, he engages Ben in conversation. "So... This is where you shot Locke and left him for dead, huh?"

"Yes, Hugo, I was standing right where you are now when I pulled the trigger. Should have realized at the time that it was pointless, but... I really wasn't thinking clearly."

It seems that Michael and Locke are getting the group rate discount at the Spooky Island Life Insurance Office.

"Is that why you killed all these people, too?"

"I didn't kill them."

"Well, if the Others didn't wipe out the Dharma Initiative..."

"They did wipe them out, Hugo, but it wasn't my decision."

"Then whose was it?"

"Their leader's."

"But I thought you were their leader."

"Not always."

In the spirit of my new "Everything at face value" policy regarding speculation on Lost, I'm going with Richard here. I'm sure that there will be rampant theorizing about just who it could be, assuming that Richard is just to obvious, but I'm going with Richard. He's the obvious choice and I'm going with the obvious choice from now on.

Locke finds Horace's body and some plans in his pocket. "The cabin. He was building it."

Back on the freighter, Keamy tells Gault that he needs his key. Before the Captain can ask any questions, Lapidus comes down the corridor to tell them that Mayhew, the guy the smoke monster used as a chew toy, has died and the crew is asking questions about what happened to the mercenaries on the island.

Keamy responds angrily. "You tell the crew that I'm dealing with it, then you can go gas up the chopper, Frank. We're going back."

"Going back? What the hell for?"

"Gas up the chopper, Frank."

Lapidus looks like he's thinking of challenging Keamy, but the man is one scary piece of business. "Okay."

After Lapidus leaves, Gualt brings Keamy up to speed on the creeping madness that has begun to affect the crew, including giving Regina the impulse to do her best anchor impression. He's worried that Keamy might be affected too.

"I appreciate your concern. Give me your key."

"That's not the protocol..."

Keamy chooses the "no jokey chokey" approach to negotiations and rips the key from around Gualt's neck.

"Thank you."

He storms into Gualt's ward room and uses the borrowed key in concert with his own and opens the safe.

"The reason there are two keys is we're only supposed to open the safe together."

"You're here, aren't you?"

I'm gonna go out on a pretty stout limb here and lay odds that Keamy knows Desmond's old hatch buddy, Inman. I can see the two huge men tossing darts or maybe midgets together in a Tijuana bar while the staff cowers behind the counter hoping to escape notice.

Keamy extracts a folio bearing a Dharma logo and leafs through it. He tells Gault that it's the secondary protocol that is going to tell him where Ben will go. Gault is skeptical about how Mr. Widmore might know such a detail.

"'Cause he's a very smart man, and if Linus knows that we're gonna torch the Island, there's only one place that he can go."

"What do you mean, 'Torch the Island'? That was not the agreement. I agreed to ferry you here for an extraction mission."

Keamy pins Gualt with a stare that clearly says "I'm in charge. Don't question me again." To punctuate his new dominance, he hands Gualt his defective weapon and issues his first order. "Fix my gun."

On deck Desmond and Sayid speculate about the injured man and what happened to him. As they chew over what chewed him over, Gault comes on deck and tells Omar that Keamy wants to see him.

"He said I wasn't supposed to let those two out of my sight."

"I'll watch them. Go."

It turns out that Gault is trying to help the two men. He tells them to go hide before Keamy returns. Sayid wants to know if Michael is dead.

"No, but not for lack of bloody trying, which is precisely why you two need to be hiding before Keamy comes back on this deck."

"Hiding is pointless. Give us your Zodiac raft so we can start ferrying people back here from the beach. The only way to save our lives is to get our people off that island."

Gualt considers this and makes his choice. "Meet me behind the container in ten minutes. The boat will be in the water."

Did anyone tell Sayid that "The boat will be in the water" is seaman's code for "I have a wide stance"?

Back in the jungle, Locke is consulting the map/blueprint that he found on the corpse while Hurley helpfully passes around water. "Digging through dead bodies takes it out of you."

"It's gonna be dark soon, Hugo. If you head that way, you'll hit the coast, and all you have to do is take it north until you reach our beach."

"Uh, what?"

"I forced you to come with us at gunpoint, and I'm sorry, Hugo, but I was led to believe that we needed you to find this place."

"Oh, I get it. Now you got your magic map, you don't...You don't need me anymore."

"I'm offering you a chance to leave. I don't want to put you in harm's way against your will."

"And you think walking through the jungle at night by myself is gonna be any safer?"

"I'm not sure it is."

"I think I'll stick with you guys. This way?"

As Hurley strikes off into the jungle, Ben looks at Locke with near admiration.

"He actually thinks staying was his idea. Not bad, John. Not bad at all."

"I'm not you."

He's so sincere here that I almost believe him. Almost. The student indeed has surpassed the teacher.

"You're certainly not."

Salieri watches Mozart blow by him and while his own talent remains undiminished, a small part of him recognizes that he is no longer the court darling.

At a High School, a teacher lets a stuffed in the locker victim out to the sounds of classmate jeers. It's Locke, in his formative years. He's forming into the shape of the inside of a locker, apparently. The teacher shoos off the audience and takes a bloodied Locke to the nurses office.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"I know you're probably upset right now, but I do have some exciting news for you. I got a call from Portland recently. There's a company up there doing some very exciting things in chemistry and new technologies. They're called Mittelos Laboratories. I spoke with a Dr. Alpert. He's very interested in finding young, bright minds to enter into these new fields of science. They want you to go to their camp this summer."

Locke tries to explain that it's things like a summer science camp that are forcing his body into the shape of the inside of a locker.

"I'm not a scientist! I like boxing and fishing and cars. I like sports!"

"I'm gonna tell you something. Something I wish someone had told me at your age. You might not want to be that guy in the lab surrounded by test tubes and beakers, but that's who you are, John. You can't be the prom king. You can't be the quarterback. You can't be a superhero."

For the first time, John Locke utters his defining mantra. "Don't tell me what I can't do."

So...does this mean that Jack was once headed for the seminary?

In the improvised brig, Lapidus confronts Michael and asks him why Michael didn't tell him he was a survivor of 815.

"Ah, 'cause you wouldn't have believed me."

"You didn't think I'd believe you? I tell you that I'm one of the only people in the world that think that that plane on the bottom of the ocean is a hoax, and you didn't think I'd believe you?"

"I didn't know if I could trust you. Your boss put that plane there."

"Man, I thought I was Mr. Conspiracy, but you got me beat there."

Actually, given the nature of his mission, Michael's not saying anything about his survivor pedigree is perfectly reasonable. He had no reason to trust Lapidus and every reason to suspect that Lapidus might be trying to trick him with his story.

Michael uses what little strength he has left to try to convince Lapidus not to fly Keamy back to the island.

"He is gonna kill everyone on that Island. Everyone. And you don't want that on your conscience, man. Trust me."

Lapidus frees Michael and helps him to his feet. As they leave the cell, they see Keamy and Omar at the end of the corridor. Something small and flashing is strapped to the inside of Keamy's bicep and the two men make a point of not letting Lapidus or Michael get a good look at it. Lapidus breaks the tension by telling them he's taking Michael down to the engine room. Omar responds by slamming door shut.

Gault gives Sayid some final instructions, telling him about bearing 3-0-5 that Faraday says is the one safe bearing to and from the island.

"What will you tell Keamy if he notices the Zodiac is missing?"

"I'll tell him you stole it. Now go."

Desmond then tells Sayid that it'll be a solo trip.

"I've been on that island for three years. I'm never setting foot on it again. Not when Penny's coming for me."

"I'll be back with the first group as soon as I can."

"Stay on that bearing, yeah?"

Sayid climbs over the rail and into the Zodiac. Compass in one hand, outboard tiller in the other, Sayid heads for the beach.

Locke figures that the cabin is close, but Ben isn't so sure. Perhaps it has moved again.

"It hasn't moved because I was told that this is where it would be."

"I was told a lot of things, too. That I was chosen, that I was special. Ended up with a tumor on my spine and my daughter's blood all over my hands."

"I'm sorry those things happened to you, Ben."

"Those things had to happen to me. That was my destiny. But you'll understand soon enough that there are consequences to being chosen. Because, destiny, John, is a fickle bitch."

Salieri has little choice but to recognize Mozart's new dominance, but that doesn't mean he stops feeling slighted.

"Guys? Cabin."

Sometime after his abortive attempt at unpowered human flight, Locke is being put through his therapy paces. When it's obvious he's finished for the day, the physical therapist summons an orderly to take him back to his room. On the way back the orderly gives him some standard "don't quit" advice, suggesting that anything is possible.

"You should read my file. My spine was crushed. There's a 98% chance I'll never get any feeling back in my legs. So I don't know why I'm even trying to..."

"As a matter of fact, I did read your file. You survived falling eight stories out of a building. That's a miracle, Mr. Locke. Let me ask you something. Do you believe in miracles?"

"No. I don't believe in miracles."

Still the man of science...

"You should. I had one happen to me."

Instead of explaining his own miracle, the now familiar orderly, Abaddon has a suggestion for Locke. In a "Do I have your attention?" gesture, Abaddon stops Locke's wheelchair just short of plunging down the stairs.

"You know what you need, Mr. Locke? You need to go on a walkabout."

"Wha...what's a walkabout?"

"It's a journey of self discovery. You go out into the Australian Outback with nothing more than a knife and your wits."

"I can't "walkabout" anything. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a cripple."

"Is that what you are, Mr. Locke? I went on my walkabout convinced I was one thing, but I came back another. I found out what I was made of, who I was."

"And here you are, an orderly."

"Oh, I'm a lot more than just an orderly, John."

I'm gonna go out on another limb here. I'm betting that when Abaddon started his walkabout, he started it as Walt. Something about his diction when he says "Mr. Locke" and the way he finished his statement with "John" just screams "WAAAAAALLLLT" to me.

"When you're ready, Mr. Locke...you'll listen to what I'm saying. And then when you and me run into each other again...you'll owe me one.

Walt. Big money.

On the deck of the freighter, Omar seems morbidly pleased to pass on the jist of the morse code message he received.

"It said that the doctor washed up on the shore with his throat slit."

"But I'm the doctor."

"Crazy, right?"

Keamy checks that all the gear is ready and tells Lapidus to spin the bird up.

"Mr. Keamy, I was hired to fly scientists.

"Get your ass in the cockpit and fire up the chopper, Frank."

"I'm not taking you."

"I'll kill you, Frank."

"Yeah, well, you do that, you'll never get back to the island 'cause I'm the only pilot you got."

Keamy doesn't have time to argue, and he's really more of an action guy than the head of the debate team. He moves around behind the Doctor.

"Sorry, Doc."

Without fanfare, Keamy slits the Doctor's throat and tosses him (and his wounded but UNstiched cheek) over the side of the boat.

"That change anything, Frank? Huh? Another thirty seconds goes by and someone else's turn..."

A gunshot breaks the silence. It's Gualt.

"I fixed your gun. Now stand down, Martin, or I will fire."

"I don't think you want do that, Captain."

Actually, what Gualt doesn't want to do is turn his attention away from the highly trained, heavily armed, homicidally inclined mercenary for even a second while he has him under gunpoint. Seeing the device on Keamy's arm, he does just that as he frantically asks anyone who'll answer what the device is. Predictably, Keamy wastes no time in pumping a slug into the Captain.

Keamy turns his attention back to Lapidus.

"What'll it be, Frank?"

"We're flying."

As Keamy takes care of the last minute loading, Lapidus frantically fiddles with his sat phone and stuffs it out of sight.

With an ironic "Thanks, Captain," Keamy retrieves his now functional gun and boards the chopper.

On the beach, Juliet confronts a snacking Jack, warning him of disaster should he tear his stitches. "Doctors make the worst patients." And vice versa...

Suddenly their attention is diverted by the sound of a chopper in the distance. Everyone on the beach looks up expectantly as the bird flies overhead. Instead of pulling to a halt and landing, it sails past, dropping something as it goes.

I honestly thought it might be a bomb. That would have been cool.

Unfortunatley, the package doesn't explode in Jack's face (Hey, a guy can hope, right?) but beeps at him instead. It's Lapidus's sat phone and Jack thinks he understands the message.

"I think they want us to follow 'em."

Um...Jack? Bring the guns.

Out in the jungle, Locke prepares to lead the group into the cabin. Ben has other ideas.

"I'm not going in there with you. The island wanted me to get sick and it wanted you to get well. My time is over, John. It's yours now."

At some point, Salieri must allow...oh, hell, you know.

Besides, the cabin is way creepy. It's a good time to let Mozart lead for a change. Hurley concurs.

"Yeah, I'm cool with you going in alone, too."

"Good luck, John."

Locke finds a lantern by the door, lights it and then enters the cabin. Inside in the dim light he sees a figure in a chair.

"Are you Jacob?"

"No. But I can speak on his behalf."

"Well, who are you?"

"I'm Christian." Locke, of course, has no way to know that this is Jack's Father. To him, he's simply Jacob's messanger and so he has no "What the hell, you're supposed to be dead" take on the situation. Christian comfortably leans back in his chair and Locke sits down across from him.

"You know why I'm here?"

"Yeah, sure. Do you?"

"I'm here...because I was chosen to be."

"That's absolutely right."

From another dark corner of the room, Locke hears a noise that catches his attention and when he looks over he sees another figure in shadow.

"Claire?"

"Hi, John."

"What're you doing here?" Aside from looking amazingly creepy for a hot blonde?

"Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm with him."

"Wh...where's the baby?"

"The baby's where he's supposed to be, and that's not here. It's probably best that you don't tell anyone that you saw her."

"Why? Why is she..."

"We don't have time for this. The people from the boat are already on their way back, and once they get here, all of these questions won't matter one bit. So why don't you ask the one question that does matter?"

"How do I save the island?"

Christian and Claire share one of those Manson family secret looks.

When John emerges from the cabin, Ben is understandably curious. He wants to know what Jacob told Locke.

"He wants us to move the island."

This is the first time that LOST has gotten an unintended laugh out of me. I'm glad I didn't pick that moment to take a drink or I would have washed my television. Way back when I first became a fan of the show, my very first hypothesis was that the island was somehow able to move. The weird tide that washed the plane wreckage away in season one, the "Coney Island rollercoaster" sound of chains dragging something heavy on a toothed winch and a few other things had me thinking along those lines. Eventually, that idea was dismissed and the clues turned to a different hypothesis that I refer to as the "Island in a Bottle" theory. If the idea that I and thousands of other fans dismissed as too farfetched turns out to be part of the show, I'm gonna have to try and recall if I ever put any money on it.

Again, in keeping with my "Everything at face value" policy, I'm going to assume that the island is actually going to move. Not in time or in another dimension, but physically move. I'm not suggesting a big outboard motor and a wake in the water, but somehow the island isn't going to be where it's supposed to be the next time someone tries to go to (or from) it.